Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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