she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
