So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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