Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
