Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
