Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
nutella sex= disaster
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
