Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sober January is a disaster.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
