He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
