Best friends brother. Beat that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
