No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize