dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
