I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
