I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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