I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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