Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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