We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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