dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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