the day after is always just damage control
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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