If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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