I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
