just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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