I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
