why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
