Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
