I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
