dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
