you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
