i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
