I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
