adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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