Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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