so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
