I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
