why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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