meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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