well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
