At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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