If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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