would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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