just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
