chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
