i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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