i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
