My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
