You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
