i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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