just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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