$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
