We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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