i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
