i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
