I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
