if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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