your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
