And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
