Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
