hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
